Formerly Fat People

I used to weigh 298 lbs and now weigh 142. I still look in the mirror and see someone who is at least 250 lbs. And I often wonder if I will ever see my goal of 120 lbs. Honestly, I obsess and cry just as much as I did at my heaviest. I worry constantly about regaining and get downright pissed when I notice that I have to workout hard five days a week to lose half a pound and count every calorie, when there are people who can eat a hamburger and fries three times a week, workout twice a week (not so hard) and drink every night and weigh nothing. Does it get me angry? Yes, it does. Maybe I should not worry about what others do, but I am writing my blog to be honest and naked and this is how I feel.

Through my journey, I have found that formerly fat people fall into a few categories.

1. The scared: Destined to forever live as if you need to lose weight, calorie counting; never missing a workout and feeling guilty when you do; always thinking that you will wake up one morning at your heaviest; never being able to go out and eat or have a drink with family/friends. (I fall into this category.)

2. The liars: People who feel like what I described above but will never admit it.

3. The hoarders: Those who have found balance but simply won’t share it with the rest of us. These are the tricky ones because they snub their nose at the currently fat and get upset at the formerly fat who speak of their fat days.

4. The accepters: Those who have accepted that they are not like the “average” person and move on with living.

I guess it is better than being overweight but…

Published in: on May 9, 2010 at 4:20 pm  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. i think you are doing a wonderful job and that you look beautiful. i understand why you are scared though.

  2. Thank you so much but I don’t feel pretty or even happy.

  3. Singing … I feel pretty, Oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay*, And I pity, Any girl who isn’t me today

    *not that there is anything wrong with that

  4. You got to be you, who else is going to do it. You are doing an amazing job. You fall down, you get back up.

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